1.Equation
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Therefore,
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
2.Q: Do you already know the latest stats joke?
A: Probably...
3.A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time.
Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake. When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment:
“1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that…”
4.A statistician's wife had twins.
He was delighted.
He rang the minister who was also delighted.
"Bring them to church on Sunday and we'll baptize them," said the minister.
"No," replied the statistician.
"Baptize one. We'll keep the other as a control."
5.What is the shortest mathematicians joke?
Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
6.Student : I love you sir and you love your daughter which means I love your daughter.
7.Math tells us three of the saddest love stories:
1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever.
2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet.
3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
8.Q. What do you get if you cross a maths teacher and a clock?
A. Arithma-ticks!
9.Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
A:Because you can't drink and derive...
10.Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean.
Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there.
The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.
The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."
The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."
While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires.
They both scream, "What are you doing?"
To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
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